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Friday, December 16, 2011

Celebrate the small things!

Celebrate the small things, whether it is something that you accomplished or something your children do, celebrate.  Life is too short to just sit around thinking you didn't do it good enough or you could have done more.  Make everyday a celebration of life.  I'm going to go celebrate nature today and go feed the ducks with my two little ones; I love nature and I am so grateful for its depth, it allows me to escape the worries of life anytime I choose and today I choose to embrace the beauty rather than worry.

Live 'n' Love Out loud!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Family is Worth more than anything in this world.

I married into a big family, my husband came from a family of seven, a number much bigger than two when you add how much groceries cost and the chaos provided by such a large number.  They came into our town and stayed in our home this passed week and while it was wonderful to spend time with them, but I must say, I am glad to have our house back.  Overflowed toilet, constant mess of living out of bags all over the house and craziness of trying to get somewhere on time... I have learned in order to have a big family, you must have a great since of humor or simply don't care.  Don't get me wrong, I have a great since of humor, I just have problems with wasting money and the not caring part.  I wish that I could be more laid back with a lot of things, but I have a hard time when the ceiling of my garage falls in or I can tell you exactly where you have been because you leave a trail of lights and dirty laundry behind you.

I guess you could say my home is my santuary and to be honest, it was the last thing that my mother ever did for me. She helped us get this house, just in the nick of time too, right after we moved our apartment comeplex began having some many problems with thieft and even someone who was shot.  It was her dream to live in a home such as this and everyday I see her in every inch of this home and I know that she would have loved it here. I think that is why I care more than normal, I want this home to last, to be perfect, in every way possible and treated it with respect, as we should anyway, but it seems as though most people take much of what they have for granted.  I am not materlistic at all, I don't require much to live this life, but cherish all that I have.  I have lived on much less, but would like very much not go back to that, I grew up pushing my mother to work harder, she always said that the reason she never gave up was because I had always been the monkey on her back, even as a small child.  She said that she always knew that I would never allow her to fail (my eyes draw tears as we speak).  She was so strong and she loved us so much and I refuse to give my children anything less and I will work as hard as I can to give them a better life than I had, mentally and materially (my life is great, but I want greater for them).  Yes, my life has made me strong, yes, I appreciate the good because of all the bad, but it takes a tole on you, it makes you watch your back even though you have done nothing and although you are a good person, you feel as though you are not good enough.  My mother was incredible and I will give my life to my children, living it each day, trying to do better than my mother did (if that is even humanly possible).

Live 'n' Love Outloud!!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Weight is Over!

Yes, I have lost my baby weight, whoo- hoo and to celebrate I got my hair half done for the first time ever (the half done part) and whole done, well the first time in two years.  Yup, half done, I was in the middle of getting it done by someone who is doing a secondary education required to work in a certain kind of salon and it had already been 3 hours when my husband called and text and called and text again!  I called him back when the glaze was rinsed from my hair and in the background I heard the scream of Riel (the baby).  Screaming bloody murder, she was!  She refused to take the bottle and hadn't eaten in at least four hours (she was sleeping when and before I left the house), I had to get home, so the gal barely dried my hair and set my appointment to come back to finish my half color and half haircut; got to say, I have never had one of those.  Ah, the joys of motherhood.  I am going to post before and after pictures when my hair is all done and I will be starting another blog after the holidays when I start working out.

I haven't been the best example of working out for a while now, but I used to be the very best example there ever was,  I had lost my will to be super fit after I moved from my hometown, Springfield, MO because I put my dreams of acting on the back-burner.  I heard that! You want to know what Springfield, MO has to offer?  Brad Pitt, Kathleen Turner and John Goodman... need I say more!  Yup, those guys came directly from Springfield, MO and many more to come, believe me, that place is inhabited with talent, real talent, not just the kind that move to LA hoping to "Make It," but the kind who know their craft, perfect it and spring into the spotlight out of nowhere... those are the ones to watch, it's beautiful.  When I see them on the big screen, I have two reactions;  so happy for them and the other, jealousy that they are on there and I - am - not.  I know that I could do something with acting (especially drama), it has honestly has been the only craft I have ever wanted to do with my life (no knitting or baby wiping dreams ever came from girl's mouth).  All I wanted out of my life was to take the set by storm and make every scene work.

Do you live life in the moment or are you the type that navigates through cause and effect before ever deciding what to do?  I am somewhere in between.  I grab life by the reins and guide it the best I can, but fly with it if the sleigh flies toward the wrong star (getting into the Christmas spirit).  I follow by faith, knowing by experience that life does not take turns by accident.  We either follow, experiencing a happiness we would never have known existed or we learn something that we never want to go back to ever again; either way, dreams are never lost. In a world of Internet and reality tv, life can happen and you can seize the moment as never before and when you are done seizing the moment, you can post a video and whool- a, can be right back to where you wanted to be.  Although I didn't get what I wanted out of life so far, I got two people I never even dreamed of having, you guessed it, my baby girls!  I never saw myself as a mother, little alone a mother of two or even married for that matter, but it is pretty cool and I have to say, I still act, just at home for now, but if you never see me on the big screen, this is what I gave it up for...

P.S. Dreams are never lost, just on pause once in a while.