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Monday, October 10, 2011

My head has so many things to say...

the last two days, our garbage disposer has been making a sound as if it were broken.  My husband is the only person who has been using it and I asked if he had cleaned it all out and he said with confidence that he had and that it must be broken.  Well, this morning I stuck my hand down there in disbelief that it was broken and it was a good thing I did; I found a pretty big rock (must have been from the hubby changing the dog water)!! The rock had broken into smaller pieces so it took some searching to find it all, but sure enough, once I got it all out, the garbage disposal worked just fine.  Yup, leave it to man to just say, "well, we will just have to buy a new one" and leave it to a woman to find the problem and solve it without a single cent being spent! I swear, if the government would appoint a group of stay at mothers to go over the US budget, not only would it probably get us out of debt, but I'll bet we would make them money!
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After a little while of putting my 2 year old to bed, rubbing her back and spending time helping her to appreciate her sleep, she is now walking upstairs hand in hand, lying down and going to sleep.  It has been wonderful, not only is it not a fight at 9 pm, but we just put her in bed, we get to leave and she sleeps the entire night without coming into our room until after we're awake.  Allowing our little ones to grow up is tough, but it was the cutest thing to go upstairs, peek in on her and see that she tucked herself in... absolutely adorable!
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for the past couple of days, my husband and I began our journey on P90X; we work out in the mornings together, I clean house and he makes the dinners (which are awesome, he is a much better cook than I am).  By 9 pm I was not only sore to the point of no return, but I was so tired that I didn't feel like I could even put the girls to bed.  I took my baby downstairs and handed her off to the hubby and he asked me to put our toddler to bed, so I took her upstairs.  Around 15 minutes later, my husband came upstairs and gave me the baby.  I was in such a bad mood! On top of how miserable my entire body felt (inside and out), my new born was wide awake at 10 pm, it was miserable and I felt terrible, but I had to let her cry and wear herself out.  It took forever for her to go to sleep, but she finally did and I could not have been more grateful!  She slept the whole night through and woke up around 6 am.  

One child never seemed as if there were any change in our lives, the only thing that was different was instead of being a workaholic, I became a love-a-holic!  All I have been able to do in these past two years is love my little one as if there were no tomorrow, take her everywhere and do everything I can to give her all the time I never had with my mother.  Now that there is two, it seems as if the work load is 100% more! I try to still go places, but it's not like when I had my first and only one.  I went everywhere, everyday with only one, but now that I have two, with one that's walking, it's a bit difficult to just up and go places, mostly because of the two year old;  it takes forever to get out the door and it seems that I am always late for everything!

I am telling you, I have worked at nearly every job on the planet (that doesn't require an education, of course) and the hardest thing that I have ever done is be a MOM!  It requires you to have patience like never before, to understand that children get just as frustrated as you do; it changes you and how you see things.  It's truly amazing that having children bring out this whole other side of you that you may never had known before.  For me, it makes me miss my mother everyday... cherish every moment (good and bad), you have no idea when it could all be taken away.  I think how lucky my children are, that they get to have a Mother at home, to care for them better than any other person would.  If you are a stay at home Mom, you are so blessed to do so, take pride in what you do and who you are.  Sometimes we forget how beautiful we are, after gaining weight, having children and baring it all to a Doctor we barely know, I think it becomes too easy to lose yourself in it all.  We matter, although we do not have people flirting with us or telling us how awesome we are on a daily basis, we can tell by how wonderful we are though our children; what they are learning and how they interact with others.  For those who are not stay at home Mom's, you are much too over- worked and I know that there is some- sort of emotional detachment that has to take place, I do not know how you do it!  Just leaving my little one with their Father is hard for me, little alone someone who you barely know. Either way you have it, it is a sacrifice that all of us make (money- wise or time with our children), we do what we have to do to survive and none of it is easy.

I have to tell you, through it all, if my husband and I were to ever break up, it was all worth it, just to have my little ones apart of my life, for the rest of my life, it is all worth it! So whatever your life puts you through, just remember that you are an incredible person, you are not alone and that although you feel as if you don't have a friend in the world, there are many others that feel the exact same way and all you have to do is be a friend to gain a friend.  I am here for you and I can definitely use a friend.

Live 'n' Love Out Loud!!

1 comment:

Lauren kowacich said...

I love that you're doing a blog Mercedes! I feel like I can relate to a lot of what you said about being a mom...and how having children really brings out a more loving side of us right?! I like that you said the great moments are what carry us through the bad...sometimes its just enough to get through the day lol. Wish we lived closer. Maybe someday we will.